A thought just fluttered through my mind. It was profound. At least to me.
There are a few areas of life that I have always drawn back from: the artistic ones. Things like music, painting, creating, even cooking. I spent time playing cello, making jewelry and doing a few doodles, but to be honest, creativity scared me. Now that I am an adult (or something) I can confidently say that I was scared of being judged on the results of my creativity. Art class never seemed like a place to explore and be free. It was a competition. At least, that was the message I somehow received. And so, as the years went on, I stopped being creative. I stopped doodling on my notebooks and I stopped trying to join the choir and I stopped playing cello in groups. Why? Because I was scared. Of not being good enough.
Now the basic fear of judgement is one that every person experiences and learns to handle eventually. I, too, have worked to decrease its impact on my life. And I'm pretty happy with my progress. But maybe there is a way to make this easier for the young people in our lives.
My, how talented you are! Wow, you have such a gift. You are so lucky to be so good at this.
This is what we tell people. This is what we tell people who are creative. Our words, although meant as compliments, portray a kind of uncontrollable power that has given this person: their ability to be creative. We are pushing the idea that you are born being able to sing, paint, or play. You either are good at being creative or... you didn't receive that gift at birth.
What this means to me and my mind is that the hard work that creative people put into their creations is seen as meaningless. Or rather, it is forgotten. We assume that painting is a skill you either have or do not, not one that you train for. We don't congratulate people on the hard work and the endless hours that they have given. We congratulate people on having been lucky enough to receive a gift from fate. And how disrespectful is that? I know, it's not on purpose. We don't always mean what we say. But an opera singer should be praised for the work that they do to get to where they are just as much as an doctor.
I admit, I believe that some skills come easier to some people. That's just the way things are. But need that shape our perception of their hard work? No creator has gotten to where they are without hard work, for which every person deserves praise.